Firstly, I would like to apologise for not being imaginative enough to think up my own subject title.  I’d like to also take this opportunity to apologise for offending anyone in any of my earlier blog entries for things that I may have said that caused offence.  Oh fuck it! Who am I trying to kid?  I’m not sorry at all and quite frankly I’m getting more than a little pissed off every time I open a newspaper and find that someone is either complaining that no one is apologising or that people are clamouring to apologise for something or other.

So, last night Chris, Fred and myself were heading off to see the rather smashing The Mentalists! play in a pub near Old Street. After finishing work we headed to a local hostelry which was honouring a ‘free Guinness’ voucher we had, along the way Ralph and Harry joined our entourage and we stood outside, supping ale and discussing the depth of the clouds and at what time the rain would start, said whilst trying to make the most of the alleged sunshine.

During our time out we ‘befriended’ an American girl who went by the name of Melissa. Melissa was cute, very cute…very cute and very drunk! So drunk she thought I was 26, yes…that drunk! We had a short but frequent conversation which consisted of her asking me my name, asking me why everyone hated Americans, asking me what I thought of Obama and how she wanted to vote for him but is afraid that he won’t be able to deliver and therefore the trusty McCain might be a safer pair of hands. Then she would go back inside to chat to her friends and then upon returning, we’d have the exact same conversation. Her reaction was amusing when she asked me if I thought she was pretty and I replied, “Yeah, you’re okay” if she wasn’t so close to falling over I swear she would have stamped her foot. Then she almost fell over laughing when she twigged I was joking.

Well, you knew that whatever the instigators would have you believe, filling a tube train with people hell bent on drinking alcohol to mark the end of our freedom to drink alcohol on public transport was never going to end up as a good news story.

This all relates back to the London Mayoral elections. Old Boris declared that come the 1 June 2008 it would be illegal to carry open containers of alcohol or to drink alcohol on public transport (tube/bus/DLR/trams) the idea being that if people were discouraged from getting drunk on the way to pubs and clubs, they would be a little soberer by the end of the night and less violent, as well as not scaring the shit out of regular travellers who were afraid to get into a carriage with a bunch of drunks. It seemed fair enough, in twenty years I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve drank alcohol on public transport, usually New Years Eve… Yes, I am a goody two shoes however I’ve probably snorted more lines of narcotics on the top deck of a bus, horses for courses

Well, anyway. Some bright sparks decided that they should mark the end of liberty by encouraging everyone to get on the tube and get rollicking drunk in a protest against the law. Can anyone hear disaster waiting to happen? Of course we doom sayers were proved right as stations were closed due to alcohol related incidents, Underground staff were assaulted, police were assaulted and lots of people were no doubt waking up today with very sore heads, caused either by alcohol consumption or the effects of being twatted on the head by a bottle being thrown by one of those liberators of freedom.

So, MP’s have started the process of making it possible to practise ‘hybrid embryo’ research. There has been a lot of talk about how this is immoral and would create Frankenstein creations. Bah… what a load of nonsense to that I say. The loudest voices against the research have been, unsurprisingly, those from religious groups, always a good source of amusement. I’m not sure of the numbers but with each passing year I’m sure that the ratio of ‘believers‘ vs. ‘non-believers‘ lessens so what gives this minority the right to dictate to the majority the sort of research that should be conducted? I’m sorry, but I would rather take my chances with a scientist who has been conducting some experiments using real cells as opposed to trusting some nit-wit who believes some all singing, all dancing entity just knocked up the solar system and life as we know it in 6 days.

Of course why should we trust MP’s?? Who says they know any more or less? Already we entrust the decision to a random bunch of people who have spent the last year or so trying to hide details of their expenses from the people who actually pay them… UK Taxpayers! These cretins try and invoke some bullshit about how it is an invasion of their privacy to have to reveal what they spend the £26,000 per annum they are ‘entitled‘ to claim from the tax coffers for keeping a second home. Just imagine trying that where you work! “Sorry boss, I can’t give you receipts for the £300 lunch i had as it would be an invasion of my privacy for you to know what I’m eating. So please just shut the fuck up and give me the money!” Can anyone else hear the response of, “You’re FIRED!”?

Anyway, enough of those Frankenstein creations and back to the embryos… I can reveal that pioneering British research has used the new research powers to solve the problem plaguing the Democratic Party in the US. No, I don’t mean they assassinated Hillary! As the photo shows, science is a wonderful thing!

OK, so I’m a bit late coming to this topic, which most people in the UK are familiar with. The reclassification of marijuana from a class B drug to a class C drug right back to a class B. The theory was that as there were more ‘dangerous’ drugs out there, lowering the class would aid police in focusing their attention of the dealers of the harder stuff and free up the already over crowded prisons.

It wasn’t a re-creation of Dutch law that whilst not legalising the drug, it turned a blind eye to those smoking in designated places (coffee shops). In the UK if you were caught with a very small amount of marijuana you would get a caution. Well, I’m not sure anyone noticed the difference, other than politicians who seemed to think the public had suddenly become hopped up pot-heads, 2 puffs away from a psychotic breakdown, not helped by the story of the chef who killed a girl and had sex with her corpse. The headlines claimed, “I smoked a joint and then went out…I thought she was alive” There you go then, one joint and you can’t tell if a woman is alive or dead whilst you rape her?! Only they forgot to mention he had spent the night drinking vodka, beer and whisky together with some tequila oh and just over a gram of cocaine… but it was the joint that did him in!

The irony is, here in the UK we have ‘celebrities’ snorting coke, smoking crack and of course puffing on a spliff most days of the week, usually documented on the front page of the tabloids, but does anything happen to them? Why of course not! Heroin addict Pete Doherty was up before the judge on numerous occasions but was forever getting one last chance to clean up his act…he didn’t so he was eventually sentenced to a couple of months courtesy of Her Majesty’s Pleasure…he did a couple of weeks and was let loose. So if our laws state you only get 2 weeks for heroin, coke and crack use, all class A drugs by the way. Why on earth are they now reclassifying marijuana to class B with a maximum sentence of 5 years?? Marijuana? Just say NO, smoke crack instead, you’ll get less time in the hole! I hope whoever stated, “The Law Is An Ass” patented the expression, he or she would be minted by now!