To blog…or not to blog?!


Seems many more days have elapsed since I last bothered my weary fingers to type something here. Sometimes I think, “Hmmm I should go write something about this” but as can be seen by the entries… I don’t follow through with the idea!

What is there to say? Various things going on in life right now, work, social, personal all exhausting in individual ways and actually, for a change, none too depressing. A theme I often mention, why it is we feel happier blogging when things are going wrong?!

Well, let me start with what is going right, this may on occasion start off with something going wrong but essentially, something good transpires…

After debacle with Rebecca and theatre outing I was left at very short notice to find a replacement. First place to look was phone, it struck me that 98% of the contacts in my phone are female and probably 90% of those I haven’t spoken to in a while. So, being the coward I am i sent a text to one… she replied and later that evening I called her. We haven’t spoken for about 9months but have managed to put the past behind us and chatted so well it felt like 9days (or maybe even less!) we’ve both changed a lot and I think we both felt good to be back on talking terms… sadly she couldn’t make The Producers as she didn’t finish work till 6.30pm… Time to pick another number! This time sent a text to a colleagues niece, she replied, we spoke on the phone and persuaded her to skip work 15mins early to make it, she agreed and we had a fantastic time. The Producers is hilarious and definitely a must see. It was also good to catch up with Sarah, funnier too as she’s dating a German guy so she intends explaining all about the show to him…hope he has a sense of humour!

Having realised that the only reason i don’t talk to the majority of contacts in my phone is through me not calling them…. I chose to alter that and have started talking to a few more, one a week, more or less. One thing that does strike me is defining the line of friend and ‘something more’. It’s hard to know that you’re intentions are being understood correctly. Case in point, have decided that with Valentines day coming up that whilst not really going a bundle on the whole crassness of the occasion, it is still sad not to be able to buy someone something…so hit upon idea of sending a valentine rhyme a day from Feb 1 to Feb 14, just as my way of making a friend smile… What then do you do when the friend gets the wrong idea? Do you try and explain it’s as a friend you send them and stop, or do you continue to send them anyway? I went for the continue to send option but I can tell from some reactions that they have mis-understood intentions – which is a shame but I guess understandable… never fear, only 1 more rhyme to go!

Readers of old will be familiar with the name Aurélie… It took me 2years to get her out of my head and 25minutes for her to get back in again! This time however it’s for the good. Without going over the details, we met, we shared something, she lied, we parted. We promised each other we’d remain friends but I’m not sure either of us believed the other. It now appears we are going to be friends, we email occasionally, and who knows, we talk of meeting again, sometimes I’m not sure it’s a good idea but most of the time I think it will have to happen, just so we know that it can work. I’ve always wanted to believe that it is possible for a guy and a girl to remain friends even after one has hurt the other. Shouldn’t friendship endure?! Time will tell…

I do often think about people I have lost contact with, most of the time I’m probably the one at fault as I seem to find it awkward to keep communication channels open, not through any real reason other than embarrassment that I have left it so long. Quite why I feel I should call every other day I don’t know but thats what I used to think and when i didn’t call for a week or two I then felt as if I was so negligent that i didn’t deserve to be spoken to again… Here’s hoping that damage can be repaired.

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