Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning or when I go to bed at night, I lie there and become aware of the silence. Not the silence of the room or the lack of noise from outside but the silence in my head. When I was much more active in yoga and meditation I remember striving to get that ‘inner quiet’ and now find it a little amusing that it sometimes comes to me without me wishing it. It can be quite addictive tho, just lying there and savouring the whole nothingness, so much so that I’ve often found myself rushing into the shower as I try to get out the house to work without being late and thus incurring the wrath of da management.
It’s probably true what recent reports have started to indicate, with all the new ways of keeping in touch both socially and work wise, we’re living busier and busier lives, sleeping less and thus becoming more stressed. With the advent of mobiles and email we were easier to get hold of and that not only increased our productivity but also our stress levels, not to mention huge increases in profits for companies, many of whom forgot to filter down those increases to the workers, rather the shareholders got the rewards for others hard work – but this isn’t a blog about the injustices of the capitalist system, the communist way wasn’t any better. More recently we now have email on our mobiles and most people have an account with at least one social networking site, both of which eat into what little ‘free’ time we may have. Suddenly sleep becomes the last thing on our minds and that’s a shame, I love sleeping. I also love waking up, especially on the weekend, and just lying there, knowing I have nothing to do and really enjoying the laziness that I can allow myself. My bed suddenly becomes a stress free zone, an armour plated tank which shields me from the outside world. I wonder how many people wake up and jump out of bed and get busy with household chores without ever contemplating the calm they could bring to their day by allowing themselves just 15 minutes lying in bed to enjoy the silence?
So, sleep aside I’ve been trying to do what man (and woman) has been doing for generations, figuring out the opposite sex. Okay, perhaps not the entire opposite sex, I don’t have that much time as it is; just the few members I know at the moment.
You’ll recall I mentioned a couple of girls I had met recently (if you can’t, flick back a few posts) Well it’s safe to say that what is said is not what is meant. Girl number 1, who agreed to meet for a drink obviously didn’t really mean it as the three attempts I made at actually agreeing a date for the drink came to nothing. I wondered if this is a gender issue or a personal issue. I don’t know many men who would agree to go for a drink if asked by a girl and then turn down every date offered and just ignore a request to, “pick a date that suits you!” Girl number 2 was equally as perplexing. After the first meeting where she said we should meet again she avoided all questions on when we would actually meet instead a game of text ping-pong has been played during which she has informed me of at least one date she’s been on, which for the record she said was going well “Hmmm…” I thought, “If she’s telling me this, it obviously shows she sees nothing happening between us, move along mr omneo and forget about her” Then out of the blue I get a text asking if I want to meet for dinner?!
I should probably have waited before replying but I said, “yes, sure lets meet for eats.” With the benefit of hindsight I should perhaps not have bothered. I get the impression I’m a last call ‘space filler’ why else would she get in touch now? Whenever I text her suggesting a drink I either get no reply or a reply hours later? It would seem that after one meeting I’m already consigned to the bin labelled ‘potential friend; nothing more‘. Nothing wrong with friends you might say but I already have a few good ones and see some of them little enough as it is.
As I mention to a couple of friends lately, the whole ‘dating many’ just doesn’t appeal to me. Going through all that crap of dressing myself up to try and look enticing physically and mentally to someone is not what I live for. I already know I have no future in sales so selling myself is too much of a chore, perhaps if I know someone is interested I’d be a little more enthusiastic but otherwise I just can’t get into it, I’ve little desire myself to hear what I think my aspirations for the future are as well as my recollections of my past and so if the other party is not really interested, what is there to talk about? Perhaps I will have to buy a TV after all so I can keep up to date with the pseudo dramas created by script writers to take our minds of the dramas of our own lives?
Actually, the response from a female friend when I discussed girl number 2 was quite insightful, here’s what she had to say…
“it is called paradox of choice. I get called fussy because I know precisely what I want and move on quickly away from almost every guy I meet. I never was the “let’s try and see how it works out” sort of gal. It is how it is, I cannot help that at all. I still believe that when the right guy comes, I will know straight away. It has been like that before so I know that is how it is. It is just that, in the meantime, sifting through is fucking dull and frustrating, not to mention time consuming.
Not sure what to tell you about your girl, sounds like she is not interested and is basically just afraid of being on her own, hence calling you when she probably has a bit of time free and freaks out. Have met people like that. Not sure, I always felt, as a child, that grown ups know what they are doing, and now I see that they don’t. In fact, the older one gets, the more complicated the life becomes.”
It’s unlike me to actually agree with this friend but occasionally I do and this is one of them. Any way, we shall see if tomorrows ‘date’ actually transpires. Actually, what makes something ‘a date’?! If someone you’ve only met once before says, “are you around for a spot of chow?” is that a date or is it just err… going out for a spot of chow? And who decides these things? Is there an encyclopaedia of terminology which covers the whole language of dating detailing the various contexts in which words might be used? If so, can someone send me the ISBN so I can order my copy from Amazon!
Of course, as ever this entries musical interlude shares the theme, turn up your speakers and listen to Ewan Pearson’s extended remix of Depeche Mode’s…. Enjoy The Silence!