Despite a slow start, suddenly it is the end of the week. Perhaps the bank holiday we had on Monday threw things a little, perhaps it was the Salvia I tried, also on Monday, that distorted time or maybe it was the extended glass of wine on Wednesday that resulted in me sleeping late yesterday? Whatever the reason, it feels like a month has passed in a few days and yet it also feels like nothing much has been done.
I think I really need a break, away from work, away from home, away from everything and yet…away from nothing. The reality is work isn’t depressing me, neither is home life (or what passes as it) but for some reason things just feel blah.
Perhaps it was a note from Sarah to say she was getting married in November? That realisation that something you had desired would never now be attainable. Perhaps it was getting back in regular contact with Ashley, who rather helpfully resides just outside Chicago, but who wants me to go over and spend time with her as she has a good feeling about us. True, we have kept in contact for 7 years now but there are a whole host of impracticalities that make anything meaningful next to impossible.
Sometimes it just feels like I want to run away but I have no idea to where. I saw an ad a local paper from a TV company, they were looking for people who were willing to sell everything they own to try and start up their dream life somewhere else. I liked the idea of it but I couldn’t for the life of me imagine what my dream life might be. I wonder why it is I have never had much of an idea as to what I want from life?! I seem to just coast from day-to-day, happy to make it from one day to the next without thinking much further ahead than supper-time.
Oh well, c’est la vie as they say in France and other, enlightened, parts… such as Omneo World :)