Call me a crusty old curmudgeon, I’ve certainly been called much worse, but what is it with people and the latter weeks in December? OK, I know a lot of you reading are probably muttering, “For fuck sake Mr Omneo, it’s Christmas!” to which I might, if I could be bothered, reply, “Big deal!” If I was even more bothered I might go into one on why it is I’ve never understood why it is Christians celebrate Christmas on 25 December as it wasn’t even the date that this alleged Son of God made his way kicking and screaming from his virgin mother’s womb. Given that every king and his dog have buggered around with the calendar, if he was born Jesus could throw a party any time from April onwards.
Like most things, Christmas was hijacked by the Christians who didn’t like all those nasty Pagans who celebrated their Winter Solstice on the 21 December, obviously they didn’t want to be like Bill Gates and take it over out-right, instead they thought more like Rupert Murdoch and just launched a rival festival and threw in the notion that everyone who celebrates it gets a present. It doesn’t matter which century you live in, everyone has their price and it’s usually much less than you think!
Right, I’m getting side-tracked yet again; I wasn’t really interested in chewing the fat over Christmas… I don’t believe in God therefore I don’t believe in his alleged son therefore it goes without saying that the actual thing we’re supposed to be celebrating is, for me, nothing more than the ability to pay double for the sort of trash you wouldn’t buy even if you had the money in the first place.
New Year on the other hand is a much better holiday, or is it? I guess the whole calendar shifting thing holds true for New Years Eve celebrations but what the hell, I am allowed to pick and choose my belief system ;) I do wonder if I’m not becoming even more jaded than I used to be tho. There was a time when I couldn’t wait for 31 December to roll around, either ensconced at home with more provisions and booze than was ever healthy or out at a club or party spending all the money I saved not buy Christmas presents on yet another round of tequila shots or a gram of coke, or very often both!
These last few years have seen me stay home, too lazy to venture out and pay through the nose in over-crowded bars and clubs for watered down alcohol, not when there’s the option of staying home and drinking at supermarket prices in a place that has all my favourite songs on the jukebox and the toilet never has a queue and has plenty of toilet paper…Not sure about you but I was sold on just the clean toilet aspect!
I thought that this year I would go out and maybe do a little dance, make a little love and generally just make whoopee! You know what? I can’t be bothered! I sometimes think if it wasn’t for the fact that I have to leave the house to go to work, I’d seldom go out. On-line grocery deliveries, on-line banking, dial-a-pizza and my friendly milkman have got just about every base covered, who knows what I’d do if I won the lottery… Actually I have an idea, I’d move to somewhere HOT!!
Right, time to wrap this baby up! I realised earlier this afternoon I had run out of mayonnaise which I need for dinner, can’t have a home made prawn cocktail salad without mayonnaise, right? So I trot up to Tesco only to discover every man, woman and child seems to be in there; just about every checkout was open, something I’ve rarely seen and each one had 7 or 8 in the queue, amazing really as it’s only going to be closed for 1 day…do they all know something I don’t? Anyway, I got my mayonnaise and treated myself to 3 bottles of Duvel beer, to bring in the New Year.
As for my New Year’s Resolution…Hmm… I’m toying with the idea of making one but I’m not sure if I want to keep it or not and I haven’t even started it, tho if I do decide to make one, it’s going to be a more miserable time in the Omneo household as I’m thinking of giving up alcohol until 2010!! <— worth 2 exclamation marks. I’ll let you know next week if I’m going to go with it or not. Until then I’ll leave you with Skye and her rather aptly titled track What’s Wrong With Me?
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