Mr Omneo Blogs…

OK, it’s done!  I have finally chosen the newest addition to Omneo Towers, a new sofa.  This damned sofa has been talked about for at least a year and today I finally ordered one.

What is it with sofa manufacturers? Why do they decree that you should wait 4-12 weeks for what is usually a hefty purchase?  I mean is there any other circumstance where you would go in, hand over £500 and be told, It’ll be with you in about 12 weeks. Obviously I think to myself, Why don’t they make a few up ready to be sold? but I appreciate that is so bloody obvious a statement from a non sofa construction worker that it is blindingly stupid.  So I never utter that in public in case I am mocked and ridiculed for thinking such a thing, let alone speak it’s name! Read the rest of this entry »

Being at home this week allows me to do those things un-thought of while at work.  Such as visiting department stores and looking at things before buying them as opposed to squinting at their, usually minuscule, photographs on websites.  The downside to that is it has extended the length of time required to find a sofa! Read the rest of this entry »

Now, most of the blog titles I use have sometimes very cryptic connections with the actual content of the blog so it’s a change to be making a direct statement but the fact of the matter is, I’m happy.  Happy at what?  Well, a number of things snowballed and created one big gloop of happiness.

Today the postman brought me a bumper pile of post.  It felt a little like I imagined it might be like to wake on your birthday and find lots of things to open.  Only today was better because I wasn’t expecting the post which is the thing about birthdays.  There’s no real surprise, the same with Valentine’s day.  You always know when those suckers are coming around.

Anyway, I opened the one that I was immediately drawn to, an envelope that featured a comic scene featuring Wonder Woman.  While growing up I had a serious crush on Wonder Woman.  A sexy brunette who also happens to be kick ass at kickin’ ass.  So imagine my serious delight when I discovered it contained a CD from another hot brunette and one of my favourite female DJs, Kellilicious. Read the rest of this entry »

I have an admission to make which may or may not change your opinion of me.  I’m ever so slightly disinterested in the fate of the planet. I really couldn’t give a monkeys about my carbon footprint or anyone else’s for that matter. And most of the time I think it’s ludicrous to assume that we humans can somehow stop the inevitable… the dinosaurs couldn’t stop it, what makes us think we’re so very special and can? Read the rest of this entry »

Some days more than others I stop and momentarily find myself unable to remember how old I am.  I have to quickly subtract my year of birth to remind myself, usually with a surprise in my voice, “Fuck I’m (oldenoughtoknowbetter, youngenoughnottocare)!”

It happened a few weeks ago when I was buying some shirts and a jacket.  As I tried them on in the changing rooms I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “Jeez, I can remember wearing almost identical clothes 20 years ago” then I wondered if I was subconsciously trying to recapture my youth.  This is a particular peril which comes from working in an environment where everything you do, from the way you yawn to the smell of your fart, has some hidden meaning and if you can decipher the hidden meaning then the secret of life is yours my friend! Just send £19.95 for postage and packing to me here at Omneo Towers, London (cash only please!) Read the rest of this entry »